Writing about writing - the guts of me

I've worked for a publishing company for almost 15 years now. I have loved selling and producing great advertising campaigns for a WIDE variety of clients. I have lived, loved and grown up swimming in words and images.

There has also never been a single word of editorial content, not an errant byline stating Created By Marielle Howard, printed in any of our publications.

Louisiana Business Inc, which was just Business Report and its annual supplements when I started this journey, has a strict, concrete thick strict, division between its advertising and editorial teams. This has given me both pain and relief over the years. Regardless of how I felt about our line in the sand, it was there.

I guess if I hadn't loved selling and creating advertising so much, the line might have posed a moral dilemma well before now. A few years ago, I began missing exercising the art of writing and reporting. But the line was still there.

My love of writing began in high school. A brave and brash English teacher taught a poor tomboy girl how to use poetry and prose to express herself. From tentative journal pages, to collections of short poems, to full fledged contest entries and even my first foray into publishing of mine and my classmates poetry in a magazine, Margaret Goode instilled in me a passion for the written word.

Mrs. Goode so profoundly influenced my life that to this day, I want to grow up to be a high school gifted English teacher. She changed my definition of myself, gave me permission to write my own story and the courage to laugh at myself along the journey.

And what a journey it's been. I continued to write after high school. From published analyses in my political science classes, to stories in LSU's student newspaper, I managed to feed my love of writing and share that love with a wider audience. My second degree in public relations was as much about my love of writing as my awareness that I would need a real job after college and I didn't know any political scientists.

After college, my writing became about profit. My career took a turn into the marketing world and I wrote, a lot. It wasn't the great investigative or insightful analysis pieces of my college days, but it was pen to paper with a paycheck. Oddly, this stab at writing was equally enjoyable.

From there, I ended up in sales and advertising. More specifically, I was in the business of selling advertising. Probing questions, concise proposals and fast ad headlines filled my time. All the while, life was happening and I drifted further from my love of creative writing.

A husband, kids, a career, cancer, life, death, marriage, sales, goals, life. My creative energy found lots of outlets. Photography, scrapbooking, home decorating, arts and crafts, teacher gifts, coworker gifts, baby gifts. I was telling stories, just in other ways.

One afternoon while at a professional conference in rural Tennessee, I learned about Eastern Tennessee State University. This magical place actually has a master's program in - wait for it - STORY TELLING! I told everyone I knew for months after this encounter that I was moving to rural Tennessee and going back to college. I felt my calling.

Then I discovered blogging. What a perfect way to burn my creative fuel! Pictures + words + readers, I thought this was going to be my lifelong outlet for all of the stories I've collected.

As I began experimenting with blogging, my work life changed. I'd never considered it, but the art of selling was being redefined in the most amazing way. Self appointed experts were now raking in the bucks teaching sales teams around the country that sales wasn't about probing questions, concise proposals and fast ad headlines, instead sales and advertising were now all about STORY TELLING!

If you ever doubt if there is a God, then the long thread of this story should at least convince you there is some greater and infinitely humorous power bringing us all full circle. I have no doubt there is a God and he had just revealed the guts of me - shown me my core purpose and passion in life - I am a Story Teller of the first order.

So now I am exposed to the core. I know what my Purpose is, with a capital P. Now what?
Lots of little projects, a story here, a press release there, a stint writing newsletter articles later and I was longing for a byline again. Part of me really wanted to see one of my stories, presented with authority, for consumers to chew on, be dragged into and sent away from different.

This summer, completely by accident, that powerful moment came.
"Would you consider reviewing the dinner you attended this weekend?"
"Would I!?!?"
"We'll have to get permission"
Patiently waiting while banging out the lead and first 5 paragraphs anticipating getting the chance.
"OK, this once, you can do this if you still want to."
"SIGN ME UP! WHEN IS IT DUE?"
"It's here!"

I have always been a story teller. At my core, it is what I am and what I love doing. I didn't need a byline to know that.

This byline gives me something completely other than validation of my life's true calling.
It gives me the joy of work.
It gives me the giddy excitement of opening an issue of one of our magazines like it's the BIG present under the Christmas tree.
It gives me immense gratitude for the people and challenges that have given me a voice.
It gives me pride that I work for an organization that gives stories life and import.

Growth vs. Profit

I read an interesting article this morning. It looked at the interesting business perspective, and practice, of Amazon. Specifically, it examines Jeff Bezos' belief that Amazon must, "keep investing, because to take profit out of the business would be to waste the opportunity."

While this approach is clearly working for Amazon, with reports valuing the company upwards of $90 billion, it creates a conundrum for me. As a professional, as a parent and as a person, the struggle between growth and profit is a continual one. And it is one that I am always looking for new insights into.

In all aspects of my life, my success is directly measured in both growth and profit. In my sales driven professional world, the profit is actually the bottom line of my growth. However, I have grown to understand that my balance sheet shows a much more important accounting of life changing commitment and excellence through:

• Reading - I allow myself to read one fun non-fiction book (often a trashy sci-fi romance romp) in exchange for feeding my mind one positive, life-affirming, person-improving, career building non-fiction title each month. I know that reading makes me smarter and the smarter I read, the stronger I become.

• Networking - The more people I meet, the more perspectives I collect. It's easy to get along with people who see the world like me. Early on in my career and life, I surrounded myself with these affirming voices. However, now I enjoy meeting people way outside of my comfort zone even more, for they are the ones that most often challenge me to see the world in a different way. Because I focus on pouring back into my relationships at least as much as I get out of them, what began as professional networking to sell more, has grown into a diverse and exciting collection of dear friends I truly value.

• Empowering - My second calling, when I finally put down the sales professional baton, is teaching. I look forward to the day when I can give back to the next generation as much as my great teachers gave to me. In the meantime, I am cutting my teaching teeth on helping my clients, friends and colleagues better understand marketing, advertising, public relations and sales. By focusing on empowering those around me to make better decisions for their companies and organizations, I am growing my ability to teach.

By committing to these disciplines, I have been blessed to do good work. My commitment to growing myself has created profit for my company and my family.

Profit is important. I have to deliver value to my company. All of the personal growth in the world won't justify not hitting my goals or producing results for my team. I am responsible for the bottom line, as are we all in one way or another.

The reason that report cards, monthly goals and deadlines exist is so that we can account for our efforts. But they also give us the opportunity to mark our growth, or not, learn and move forward. They allow up to punctuate our lives with important markers that let us move forward to our next level of success.

My focus will always be on my growth, but I will always equally be responsible for the profit that my growth should produce. Unfortunately, my accounting isn't cushioned by a billion dollar cloud like Amazon. However, I argue that here on the ground, on the front line of sales and life, the stakes are even higher. My professional and personal legacy are at stake.