Comparing your backstory

To others' highlight reels.

What a convicting statement. All of our new media, technology tantalizing, selfie saturated self promotion is a problem.

While watching a great online video shared on facebook today, I realized that I am guilty and charged of feeding both my pride and insecurities on the same banquet of bitterness.

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=W6GZ6LNX

How often do I scroll through countless photos of others' great lives, their highlighted, instagram filtered perfection, and think, "I want a life like that." Now certainly, mild social media envy of your Caribbean vacation isn't a sin. But day after day of wanting someone else's anything, well that points to a deeper longing in me than I knew I had. And because I am a personal responsibility nut, surely I must be doing something wrong if I can't be in Disney World as often as you are.

I have a great life. I love my life. But your highlights look AMAZINGLY BETTER than my everyday average. My long Mondays, late for carpool, forgetting to take my vitamins, messing up my paperwork (that I even have to do paperwork!), all seem far darker compared to your azure blue skies. Why?

For all of my happiness, all of my blessings, I am insecure. I think there's a chance that I may not have worked hard enough to do everything God intended for me to do to find all of the blessings he's put in place for me. Or, simply, why don't I deserve to be on a tropical beach today? What's wrong with me that Space Mountain isn't on my to-do list this week?

To be perfectly honest, there's lots wrong with me. But none of it is keeping me from living a great life. I am smack dab in the middle of all of the blessings God promised me. I am walking his path to my purpose and even on the darkest days, I am blessed.

So I share my blessings as a testimony to grace and forgiveness. And therein lies the other side of this coin, my own endless stream of awesomeness.

I wholeheartedly admit that my facebook feed looks like an adventure novel. It is squeaky clean fun where my house is always clean, my kid is always witty and my husband always adores me.

Oh, by the way, none of that is true.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So what does the picture painted by my public profile say? Does it speak of struggle, and the fight to overcome that struggle? Does it point to the realities of flat tires, messy pets, big arguments and too much homework? Does it show God's heart for all of his people?

I am afraid not. And I am challenged to change that.

Now I will be the first to say that I hate it when my feed fills up with pity party grandstanding. You know, the "I hate when people who pretend to be your friend...you know who you are." posts that make us all mildly uncomfortable wondering if they are talking about us.

So that's not how I see myself changing how you see me socially. Instead, I am going to publish and consume all social media from a different perspective.

"This snapshot of Marielle's life is just that, a highlight reel. There are dark, challenging and even less than honorable life moments not shown here. Please don't believe anyone's life is as squeaky clean as this page portrays. This life has been photoshopped for your entertainment and comfortable consumption."

Growth vs. Profit

I read an interesting article this morning. It looked at the interesting business perspective, and practice, of Amazon. Specifically, it examines Jeff Bezos' belief that Amazon must, "keep investing, because to take profit out of the business would be to waste the opportunity."

While this approach is clearly working for Amazon, with reports valuing the company upwards of $90 billion, it creates a conundrum for me. As a professional, as a parent and as a person, the struggle between growth and profit is a continual one. And it is one that I am always looking for new insights into.

In all aspects of my life, my success is directly measured in both growth and profit. In my sales driven professional world, the profit is actually the bottom line of my growth. However, I have grown to understand that my balance sheet shows a much more important accounting of life changing commitment and excellence through:

• Reading - I allow myself to read one fun non-fiction book (often a trashy sci-fi romance romp) in exchange for feeding my mind one positive, life-affirming, person-improving, career building non-fiction title each month. I know that reading makes me smarter and the smarter I read, the stronger I become.

• Networking - The more people I meet, the more perspectives I collect. It's easy to get along with people who see the world like me. Early on in my career and life, I surrounded myself with these affirming voices. However, now I enjoy meeting people way outside of my comfort zone even more, for they are the ones that most often challenge me to see the world in a different way. Because I focus on pouring back into my relationships at least as much as I get out of them, what began as professional networking to sell more, has grown into a diverse and exciting collection of dear friends I truly value.

• Empowering - My second calling, when I finally put down the sales professional baton, is teaching. I look forward to the day when I can give back to the next generation as much as my great teachers gave to me. In the meantime, I am cutting my teaching teeth on helping my clients, friends and colleagues better understand marketing, advertising, public relations and sales. By focusing on empowering those around me to make better decisions for their companies and organizations, I am growing my ability to teach.

By committing to these disciplines, I have been blessed to do good work. My commitment to growing myself has created profit for my company and my family.

Profit is important. I have to deliver value to my company. All of the personal growth in the world won't justify not hitting my goals or producing results for my team. I am responsible for the bottom line, as are we all in one way or another.

The reason that report cards, monthly goals and deadlines exist is so that we can account for our efforts. But they also give us the opportunity to mark our growth, or not, learn and move forward. They allow up to punctuate our lives with important markers that let us move forward to our next level of success.

My focus will always be on my growth, but I will always equally be responsible for the profit that my growth should produce. Unfortunately, my accounting isn't cushioned by a billion dollar cloud like Amazon. However, I argue that here on the ground, on the front line of sales and life, the stakes are even higher. My professional and personal legacy are at stake.